there's beauty in the breakdown

im so silly! ive been using this blog to pour my guts out, to...to, i dont even know. but not for what i should be doing! that stuff is private. most of it atleast. a lot of it is good for people to know obviously, but seriously? i should be just telling you all oh, this is what i did today...blah blah. so i think ill compromise and do a bit of both. that seems to work.

i feel good. im in rome.

its been an iffy past few days, but i immediately got here and started feeling GREAT. my plane was delayed yesterday for 3 hours, then i had to take a longass train from the airport to the city center, then i had to walk to find my hostel and got lost...so it was a MESS of a day. but i felt very proud to make it through ok and figure it all out on my own. i must say, this just proves to myself how strong and independent i can be! woo!

so i got into the hostel, and IMMEDIATELY people were talking to me, offering me beers, etc etc. a bunch of solo guys from all over have been staying there for over a week bc they just have so much fun. i bonded with them straight away and another girl and we all just drank and partied in the hostel. then we decided to go to a bar, like 15 of us, so we went on a LONG long walk around rome to a bar. the girl ended up drinking too much so she got sick and blah blah. i had to take care of her and we had to carry her home. thats the second time ive helped out a random stranger at my hostel when they get sick. i did it for a guy in prague. stupid kids, cant control themselves. but overall it was one of the most fun nights ever. all these guys, me and the drunk girl just wandering rome. most of the guys were from canada, england or the US so we could talk just fine.

today i just walked around rome, went to the collisium, (not inside it though, they didnt take credit cards and i didnt have enough euro on me, so i waited in line for over an HOUR for nothing!! grrrr) the forum, etc. its so gorgeous, everywhere you turn there is another ancient runes! the weather is also BEAUTIFUL! warm! flip flops and tshirts! sunny! such a change from cold rainy prague. i love it. i have a feeling im going to stay in rome for awhile hanging out with these guys. we have a blast together and it feels good to be having a lot of fun. gives me lots of confidence too, knowing that they all like me so much. ive really recognized that a lot this trip, like whoa...i am actually cool! haha people love to be around me! sweet!

i keep getting a million comments on my....well, not really mine, but the uh, dog=tag bracelet i have on. i love being able to tell a bit of a story that goes with it. people find it facinating. i love learning about other people too! i run around being like, ok who are you. whats your deal. name, address, occupation..etc. its fun as hell. so interesting, everyone is so different!!!

never again will i take advantage of the little things in life. thats todays lesson. if someone buys you a chocolate bar, swedish fish, anything...just because they think it will make you happier, APPRECIATE IT. I didnt, now I regret it. Its the little stuff like that, that can make every day better. There really are good people in the world. Thats a thing a good person does. I want to cook too. I really am going to get back into it when I get home. Im intrigued. I also have been working out, well kind of. Doing situps and stuff in the hostel. Its all I can do really, cant go running...so. But I stopped biting my nails! YAY! It really WAS gross. Umm what else. I am eating very healthy and I feel sooo good about my body. I am living my life, FINALLY, the way that I have always wanted to! And beleive me, this will keep going even when I get home. Its fantaaaastic. Oh, but I did have Nutella Gilato today. MMMM im aloud to cheat once...just for that. so good.

yay italy! pretty people everywhere. mostly women actually. they all look like margherita, it makes me sad hahaha. but thats ok, im pretty too, just different. giggle giggle. but i will admit, i DID like seeing the cute italian men dressed up as ancient roman gladiators near the collisieum or howoever u spell it. wont complain about that...

love and miss you all like crazy...but im off for champagne monday. its what the drunk girl came up with last night...oy vey!!!