Childhood dreams...

I'm in Prague right now. Got here last night very late. I've decided to stay her for a bit, as long as i feel like it, really. It feels great to be doing whatever I want, not have a scheduale with this trip, you know? This trip, whoa. What to really say about it? It's eye opening, beautiful, boring, lonely, exciting, horrible. Everything all meshed into one. I haven't decided yet what my next move is though. If I go to Italy, home, anywhere. I've been meeting people, but nothing too exciting. As the movie "Fight Club" would put it, these are single serving friends!

Met a young Irish lad at breakfast this morning and we spent the whole day together exploring the city. He is absolutely lovely. Very shy and innocent in the begninng, not my thing, but once we started really talking he completely opened up. He is actually quite fun, very intellegent and really good at having the deep conversations. I have missed REAL conversation so much! I felt like today was one of the first times I have had it since NY. If this trip keeps having a lack of it, I will certainly be home sooner than expected. I can't live without human contact, I just can't. It's not who I am, what makes me happy. And if I had to take this trip to learn that, then so be it. He leaves tomorrow though, so once again...I shall explore on my own.

I think I would prefer to cut this trip a bit early, save my money, and do it instead next summer with my sister. I think overall it would be more worthwhile. I have learned what I came here to learn. Quickly, yes...but I did. No denying that. This city is beautiful though. It really is like a fantasy town! It's been a childhood dream of mine to come here, so it feels amazing to actually be here and see all the things I've wished for. Met a couple on the street, walking their dogs. They were from NYC! Westchester too. Made me really excited actually to meet someone from home, talk about the same things...etc. They live here now, and LOVE it. I could live here some day. Cheap, beautiful, lots of character, not the hustle and bustle of NYC and just sooooo gorgeous.

This isn't hard, just boring. But it's getting better. I'm smiling a lot more. I can see myself interacting with people differently. Laughing a lot more. Not judging as much. Feeling good about myself. It's nice to have that confidence back. I feel much more alive and more like me. Tomorrow I think I will go to Prague Castle...AHH!!

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Just what I am feeling right now. Sorry if it's not right:

Don't let me down

Nobody ever loved me like he does
Ooh he does. Yes he does
And if somebody loved me
Like he do me
Ooh he do me. Yes he does

Don't let me down

I'm in love for the first time
Don't you know it's going to last
It's a love that lasts forever
It's a love that has no past

Don't let me down - The Beatles

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I was alone, I took a ride,
I didn't know what I would find there.
Another road where maybe I
Could see another kind of mind there.
Ooh then I suddenly see you,
Ooh did I tell you I need you
Ev'ry single day of life?
You didn't run, you didn't lie,
You knew I wanted just to hold you,
And had you gone, you knew in time
We'd meet again for I had to hold you.
Ooh you were meant to be near me,
Ooh and I want to hear me,
Say we'll be together ev'ry day.
Got to get you into my life.
What can I do, what can I be?
When I'm with you I want to stay there.
If I'm true I'll never leave,
And if I do I know the way there.
Ooh then I suddenly see you,
Ooh did I tell you I need you
Ev'ry single day of my life?
Got to get you into my life. - The Beatles