im home.
yep. i did it. very out of the blue, decided to just end my trip and come home. it wasnt because i was scared, lonely, bored, anything of the sort. I went there to accomplish something...and I did. I did everything I needed to do. I read, wrote, learned, partied, got my head on straight, did something on my own, made myself happy and feel good. so i felt like it was time to use all that and apply it to my real life. it was just time to come home. and now that i am here, alone, in my apartment...i feel amazing. im so happy to be here. ive been very productive! working out, 6 job interviews lined up, auditions, plans. it's exciting. its a new chapter in my life.
i was scared of what others would say when i came home early. but now, after talking to some friends, they see the difference in me. they see that i am ME again, the old me, the me that hasnt been around in months. not the depressed, stuck in a rut lindsay that was here before. it feels so good to have others recognize that and admit it to me. i feel great. im taking every day as it comes. i have nothing, i have no job, no relationship, no career, no money. and i love it. im starting from scratch. i have the whole world at my finger tips. i can do whatever i want, whenever i want. i can make everything happen for me...and that is SOOO thrilling to think about.
james brown says it best...I FEEL GOOD
alanis morissette also says it veeerrry well
----------------------
I'm broke but I'm happy
I'm poor but I'm kind
I'm short but I'm healthy, yeah
I'm high but I'm grounded
I'm sane but I'm overwhelmed
I'm lost but I'm hopeful baby
What it all comes down to
Is that everything's gonna be fine fine fine
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is giving a high five
I feel drunk but I'm sober
I'm young and I'm underpaid
I'm tired but I'm working, yeah
I care but I'm restless
I'm here but I'm really gone
I'm wrong and I'm sorry baby
What it all comes down to
Is that everything's gonna be quite alright
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is flicking a cigarette
And what it all comes down to
Is that I haven't got it all figured out just yet
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is giving the peace sign
I'm free but I'm focused
I'm green but I'm wise
I'm hard but I'm friendly baby
I'm sad but I'm laughing
I'm brave but I'm chickenshit
I'm sick but I'm pretty baby
And what it all boils down to
Is that no one's really got it figured out just yet
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is playing the piano
And what it all comes down to my friends
Is that everything's just fine fine fine
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is hailing a taxi cab - Alanis Morissettte
Friday, November 16, 2007
Saturday, November 10, 2007
oy jeez im pooped!
i am exhausted! im still here in good ol´ barcelona, 130 am, at my hostel. I didnt go out tonight. Just stayed in, cooked dinner with a few new friends and watched Lord of the Rings 1 with a bunch of people haha. So cheesy. But I needed a night of rest, especially after last night!
Yesterday was amazing. I met Paddy, my friend from Prague, around 1pm. We walked by the water of Barcelona, walked up and down the main street La Rambla, went to a market (where I saw lots of goats heads for sale...EW) and took a boat trip! It went up and down the coast on the ocean, so I got to see all of Barcelona! It was GORGEOUS. The pictures will be up soon! Paddy and I just had a blast exchanging travel stories and hanging out. Hes such a wonderful person. On La Rambla, they sell live animals, have live performers and lots of food and shops. It is the cutest place ever. Laying in the sunshine on the ocean was AMAZING. Exactly what I needed!
So after our busy day, we went for dinner and to his hostel. Met a bunch of Paddys friends and we about 20 of us went to a bar. I met another blonde, pasty Lindsay and we took control. It was such a feet trying to get everyone to stick together hahah. But we made it and around 130am, we all decided to go to a club! It was a long and exiting journey to the club! This place, called Rattmatazz, holds up to 5000 people apparently! It was gigantic! Played 80s music, bad British music and pop American. We all just got very drunk an danced the night away! I havent gone that crazy in a long time. There were platforms that the other Lindsay and I danced on and we just had sooooo much fun. We danced till 6am!!! That place is also a concert hall! Spoon is playing in a over the next few weeks...so is Diplo! SOOO sad that Im prob missing those concerts! Oh well!
So yeah, the 20 of us partied hard and had fun. Wasnt very drunk which was great, I was able to keep composure while still dancing hardcore. After a late night/early morning Burger King run, I got into my bed around 730. Its been years since I went to bed that late! It also reminded me of why I DONT party like that very often. Im exhausted today...it was too much. But fun all the same. You only live once!
So today I went to lunch with a friend from this hostel and then went up the HUGE mountain looking over Barcelona. Then to the Guidi (I think thats how its spelled) Park. Its this famous guy who did lots of Architechture around Spain, they gave him this park to do whatever he wanted with it...and he did mosaic on the WHOLE thing. It also gave me a 360 view of Barcelona and the Ocean. SOOOO AMAZING. One of teh best things Ive ever seen! It was cold, but very sunny! Tonight, as said earlier, just dinner and a movie. Perfect. Who knows what tomorrow will bring! As of right now, I am loving this holiday. Its the best thing Ive ever done and I dont regret one minute of it!!! YAY! Missing my sister a bunch. And my girls. And my puppies haha. I really want to DANCE. Act. OMG ballet I miss you.
Yesterday was amazing. I met Paddy, my friend from Prague, around 1pm. We walked by the water of Barcelona, walked up and down the main street La Rambla, went to a market (where I saw lots of goats heads for sale...EW) and took a boat trip! It went up and down the coast on the ocean, so I got to see all of Barcelona! It was GORGEOUS. The pictures will be up soon! Paddy and I just had a blast exchanging travel stories and hanging out. Hes such a wonderful person. On La Rambla, they sell live animals, have live performers and lots of food and shops. It is the cutest place ever. Laying in the sunshine on the ocean was AMAZING. Exactly what I needed!
So after our busy day, we went for dinner and to his hostel. Met a bunch of Paddys friends and we about 20 of us went to a bar. I met another blonde, pasty Lindsay and we took control. It was such a feet trying to get everyone to stick together hahah. But we made it and around 130am, we all decided to go to a club! It was a long and exiting journey to the club! This place, called Rattmatazz, holds up to 5000 people apparently! It was gigantic! Played 80s music, bad British music and pop American. We all just got very drunk an danced the night away! I havent gone that crazy in a long time. There were platforms that the other Lindsay and I danced on and we just had sooooo much fun. We danced till 6am!!! That place is also a concert hall! Spoon is playing in a over the next few weeks...so is Diplo! SOOO sad that Im prob missing those concerts! Oh well!
So yeah, the 20 of us partied hard and had fun. Wasnt very drunk which was great, I was able to keep composure while still dancing hardcore. After a late night/early morning Burger King run, I got into my bed around 730. Its been years since I went to bed that late! It also reminded me of why I DONT party like that very often. Im exhausted today...it was too much. But fun all the same. You only live once!
So today I went to lunch with a friend from this hostel and then went up the HUGE mountain looking over Barcelona. Then to the Guidi (I think thats how its spelled) Park. Its this famous guy who did lots of Architechture around Spain, they gave him this park to do whatever he wanted with it...and he did mosaic on the WHOLE thing. It also gave me a 360 view of Barcelona and the Ocean. SOOOO AMAZING. One of teh best things Ive ever seen! It was cold, but very sunny! Tonight, as said earlier, just dinner and a movie. Perfect. Who knows what tomorrow will bring! As of right now, I am loving this holiday. Its the best thing Ive ever done and I dont regret one minute of it!!! YAY! Missing my sister a bunch. And my girls. And my puppies haha. I really want to DANCE. Act. OMG ballet I miss you.
Thursday, November 8, 2007
im leaving a family behind
just got in to barcelona!!! hooray for spain! i´m very happy, i atleast somewhat know the language here. much better than italy or czech rep. anyhow! immediately my spanish started to return to me. hopefully ill get much better by the end of this trip! this hostel is so weird though, especially compared to my last one...Chianti. Its really far out of the center part of town, pretty quiet and deserted. and everyones just, relaxing! no partying! its nice, for once! im sure ill find something to do tomorrow though heh.
its amazing how already i miss my chianti family. i went back there from florence yesterday and spent last night and today hanging out with my friends. its really quite remarkable how 6 people from such different backgrounds were able to come together and create such a bond, such a family. i really miss them already, things arent as much fun without those kids around. ah, oh well...i guess thats the beauty and the horror of traveling. making new friends...then losing them. but i actually do think these friends will be life long, as strange as that sounds...but we DID spend 2 weeks straight together having a blast!
one thing i didnt understand was...where were all the hot italian men? seriously! i mean i wasnt like searching hard core, but even on the street i never saw one. only hot women. thats not right hahah!! oh well. somehow, i think ill survive heh. oh! so barcelona!! i walked off teh plane and it was sooo much colder than in rome!! i thought it was supposed to be warm here...whats going on? ah! and last night, lorenzo...the hostel owner of Chianti in Rome, took me on his scooter!!!!!
First, let me explain that Lorenzo is bascially my crazy Italian uncle I never had. He adopted the 6 of us bascially into his family while we were in Italy, and took a particular liking to me. We cooked, drank, all hung out. Hes like 45 with kids and just the sweetest most wonderful person. So we all went to a bar last night after wating Team America..of course....and I told Lorenzo I was sad! I wanted an Italian man to sweep me off my feet and whisk me away on his scooter...and it didnt happen! So he said, to make me happy, he would drive me the 4 blocks home hahahaha and he did! So it wasnt the whole romantic shpeal I dreamt of...it was better! With my crazy Italian uncle, me half drunk whizzing away down the streets of Rome!! It was so liberating, so free! I want one now haha. I thought I was going to die half the time, but thats the fun of it!
Now looking back at Florence, I wish I had seen more sites. It was just so hard, since we all had major colds, 3 of us with the chicken pox, and way too much drinking...i think we needed a bit of rest. Oh well. I plan on going crazy with seeing all the sites here in Spain. I dont have my party friends to distract me!
As I flew from Rome to Barcelona tonight, I thought of home the entire time. Of how I missed it, of how amazing it really is. Im very excited to return someday, still dont know when...but I just know things will be a billion times better than they were, in every way. Because I have changed, me as a person and my views on life. Im excited to see how others take to it! Everyone I meet on this trip is either from Australia or Canada. Where are the Swiss? Germans? Italians? Anyone? Hehe.
Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad! I miss you and love you and wish I could be there celebrating it with you!!! XOXOXO
-----------------------------
Free As A Bird,
It's the next best thing to be free as a bird.
Home, home and dry
Like a homing bird I fly, as a bird on wings
Whatever happened to the life that we once knew
Can we really live without each other
Where did we lose the touch
That seemed to mean so much
It always made me feel so
Free as a bird,
It's the next best thing to being free as a bird.
Home home and dry
Like a homing bird I fly--a bird on wing
Whatever happened to the life that we once knew
Always made me feel soooo
Free
its amazing how already i miss my chianti family. i went back there from florence yesterday and spent last night and today hanging out with my friends. its really quite remarkable how 6 people from such different backgrounds were able to come together and create such a bond, such a family. i really miss them already, things arent as much fun without those kids around. ah, oh well...i guess thats the beauty and the horror of traveling. making new friends...then losing them. but i actually do think these friends will be life long, as strange as that sounds...but we DID spend 2 weeks straight together having a blast!
one thing i didnt understand was...where were all the hot italian men? seriously! i mean i wasnt like searching hard core, but even on the street i never saw one. only hot women. thats not right hahah!! oh well. somehow, i think ill survive heh. oh! so barcelona!! i walked off teh plane and it was sooo much colder than in rome!! i thought it was supposed to be warm here...whats going on? ah! and last night, lorenzo...the hostel owner of Chianti in Rome, took me on his scooter!!!!!
First, let me explain that Lorenzo is bascially my crazy Italian uncle I never had. He adopted the 6 of us bascially into his family while we were in Italy, and took a particular liking to me. We cooked, drank, all hung out. Hes like 45 with kids and just the sweetest most wonderful person. So we all went to a bar last night after wating Team America..of course....and I told Lorenzo I was sad! I wanted an Italian man to sweep me off my feet and whisk me away on his scooter...and it didnt happen! So he said, to make me happy, he would drive me the 4 blocks home hahahaha and he did! So it wasnt the whole romantic shpeal I dreamt of...it was better! With my crazy Italian uncle, me half drunk whizzing away down the streets of Rome!! It was so liberating, so free! I want one now haha. I thought I was going to die half the time, but thats the fun of it!
Now looking back at Florence, I wish I had seen more sites. It was just so hard, since we all had major colds, 3 of us with the chicken pox, and way too much drinking...i think we needed a bit of rest. Oh well. I plan on going crazy with seeing all the sites here in Spain. I dont have my party friends to distract me!
As I flew from Rome to Barcelona tonight, I thought of home the entire time. Of how I missed it, of how amazing it really is. Im very excited to return someday, still dont know when...but I just know things will be a billion times better than they were, in every way. Because I have changed, me as a person and my views on life. Im excited to see how others take to it! Everyone I meet on this trip is either from Australia or Canada. Where are the Swiss? Germans? Italians? Anyone? Hehe.
Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad! I miss you and love you and wish I could be there celebrating it with you!!! XOXOXO
-----------------------------
Free As A Bird,
It's the next best thing to be free as a bird.
Home, home and dry
Like a homing bird I fly, as a bird on wings
Whatever happened to the life that we once knew
Can we really live without each other
Where did we lose the touch
That seemed to mean so much
It always made me feel so
Free as a bird,
It's the next best thing to being free as a bird.
Home home and dry
Like a homing bird I fly--a bird on wing
Whatever happened to the life that we once knew
Always made me feel soooo
Free
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
where to go from here?
So yesterday my frinends and I sat around thinking...what should we all do next? Amsterdam? Berlin? CAIRO? I got very excited at that idea...but we decided that it wouldnt work heh. Then we really discussed it all..got serious. Money, meeting friends...etc. We are going to have to break up and go ont he rest of our trips seperately for the most part. The couple have to go to Budapest in 2 days to meet a friend. Another guy has to go to Croatia. The liverpool guy needs to go back to Rome. So, I figure...well I might as well move on to Barcelona, like I was suppposed to!
My friend Paddy will be there in a day or two and our new friend from Wash DC we met here in Florence is going in a day or two also...so atleast I can hang out with them. But itll be good for me to be completely on my own for a bit too. Its been a few days or insanity. I am loving all of this, having the time of my life...i can just feel it getting a bit old. So I need to change my scenery and do something different! Liven it up a bit. Its getting colder here too. Barcelona will be nice!
The shopping here is incredible, I am just so angry I cant really buy anything because of how expensive and big it all is! Damn backpacking.
This is the first time I am not sure what to write. We havent done that much here in Florence. Went to teh Uffizi, saw the David, the Duomo, walked around a lot...but thats it. ITs been more just hanging out which is nice. Relaxing too. I just dont like the idea again of me not knowing exactly what I am doing next. It used to be the fun of it, now its a bit annoying..but still fun heh. Whatever, I am sure something great and exciting will happen...and Ill have fun. I really miss home and people still, of course...but its getting better. Actually, Its not that its getting better really, im just getting numb to it or learning to deal with it better. So thats good. But its still hard.
Think we are going back to Rome tomorrow morning than we all split up in our different ways. Ill miss these kids, we really bonded and had a lot of fun. I hope we all meet again. Its good for people to meet again in life. a lot of these party nights i just wish i could be home in ny in my bed curled up cuddling watching a movie. i miss that and boy, was it nice. much better than the partying. oh well. this is good too.
i want to watch moulin rouge.
My friend Paddy will be there in a day or two and our new friend from Wash DC we met here in Florence is going in a day or two also...so atleast I can hang out with them. But itll be good for me to be completely on my own for a bit too. Its been a few days or insanity. I am loving all of this, having the time of my life...i can just feel it getting a bit old. So I need to change my scenery and do something different! Liven it up a bit. Its getting colder here too. Barcelona will be nice!
The shopping here is incredible, I am just so angry I cant really buy anything because of how expensive and big it all is! Damn backpacking.
This is the first time I am not sure what to write. We havent done that much here in Florence. Went to teh Uffizi, saw the David, the Duomo, walked around a lot...but thats it. ITs been more just hanging out which is nice. Relaxing too. I just dont like the idea again of me not knowing exactly what I am doing next. It used to be the fun of it, now its a bit annoying..but still fun heh. Whatever, I am sure something great and exciting will happen...and Ill have fun. I really miss home and people still, of course...but its getting better. Actually, Its not that its getting better really, im just getting numb to it or learning to deal with it better. So thats good. But its still hard.
Think we are going back to Rome tomorrow morning than we all split up in our different ways. Ill miss these kids, we really bonded and had a lot of fun. I hope we all meet again. Its good for people to meet again in life. a lot of these party nights i just wish i could be home in ny in my bed curled up cuddling watching a movie. i miss that and boy, was it nice. much better than the partying. oh well. this is good too.
i want to watch moulin rouge.
Sunday, November 4, 2007
insanity!!!
where to even begin! well first off, I am in Florence!!! In Rome, I met this group of people and we all just bonded immediately. A French Canadian guy, a skouser from Liverpool, a cute little couple from western Canada and another guy from Ontario! We spent the entire week in Rome partying every night and exploring the sites every day. We just get on so well, its perfect. One Canadian left 2 days ago to see his g-f in Scotland, but the rest of us decided to head to Florence together, so here we are! We have made friends along the way and keep having an amazing time. The weather is perfect. Sunny and clear. Warm during the day, cold at night.
Food isnt so great here, so we went out for Chinese food tonight...hahaha and it was amazing. Felt like home! We keep getting stuck in these crazy adventures. We were out of a room on Friday night here in Florence, but at like 11 at night we found a place 20 min outside of town run by an old crazy Italian grandma. They only had one room so the 4 of us slept in this big bed all cuddled up haahh. It was interesintg, but histerical. These people have become verrrry good friends. We even plan to do a roadtrip together next summer!
I am loving this vacation! The past week or so has just been so mcuh fun. Meeting new people, experiencing new things. Learning, chatting...getting help from strangers. I cant believe its almost half over already. Time flies! from here I might go to athens with the couple, or to Pisa with this new guy we met here in Florence, or possibly Barcelona to just soak up the sun and fun! Who knows...but that is the beauty of it!
OOOH!! I have chicken pox!! Haha. One guy got it, gave it to me and his girlfriend. I have nooo idea how. I guess just from being around each other all week, sharing drinks or something. Its not that bad though, we are all a bit sick and it itches a lot..but its a different strand than what we all had when we were kids so its ok. Its really funny though. I have soooo many funny weird stories from this trip. I want to write more on here, but time is running out. Ill write more soon. Ive been keeping a journal every day of what Im doing, so as soon as I can ill update more.
I love you all at home and miss you very mcuh. Still think of my friends and family constantly. You are my rocks. Hi jojoba.
Food isnt so great here, so we went out for Chinese food tonight...hahaha and it was amazing. Felt like home! We keep getting stuck in these crazy adventures. We were out of a room on Friday night here in Florence, but at like 11 at night we found a place 20 min outside of town run by an old crazy Italian grandma. They only had one room so the 4 of us slept in this big bed all cuddled up haahh. It was interesintg, but histerical. These people have become verrrry good friends. We even plan to do a roadtrip together next summer!
I am loving this vacation! The past week or so has just been so mcuh fun. Meeting new people, experiencing new things. Learning, chatting...getting help from strangers. I cant believe its almost half over already. Time flies! from here I might go to athens with the couple, or to Pisa with this new guy we met here in Florence, or possibly Barcelona to just soak up the sun and fun! Who knows...but that is the beauty of it!
OOOH!! I have chicken pox!! Haha. One guy got it, gave it to me and his girlfriend. I have nooo idea how. I guess just from being around each other all week, sharing drinks or something. Its not that bad though, we are all a bit sick and it itches a lot..but its a different strand than what we all had when we were kids so its ok. Its really funny though. I have soooo many funny weird stories from this trip. I want to write more on here, but time is running out. Ill write more soon. Ive been keeping a journal every day of what Im doing, so as soon as I can ill update more.
I love you all at home and miss you very mcuh. Still think of my friends and family constantly. You are my rocks. Hi jojoba.
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