Monday, September 29, 2008

"i don't believe you!" - "fuck you!"

danielles birthday shindig is tomorrow night. laruen and i are helping to throw it. can i tell you how damn excited we are for it? it's all lauren and i have been yappin about the past few days. i think its been a long, long time since we 3 chez hotte ladies got all pretty together and went out. we used to do it a lot, but now we are all so busy with school, work, boys and life...it rarely ever seems that the 3 of us can make time to all be together for a bit of fun. it's going to be a grand old night though. 4 years of playhouse folk, family members, boys old and new, friends from home and then some randoms here and there will all be around. its gonna be fantastic. i strive for nights like this...where all of my worlds and my best friends worlds can collide together as one. anything can happen on a night like that.

i love working. i mean, do i really love working? i dont know....but im trying to convince myself i do! i like the whole schedule, the 9-5. its easy work. the people are fun. it could be a thousand times worse. i have my nights free to do what i want. i joined a gym. ill be saving money for europe. ive started things with a new boy. a jew for once...YAY. i dont know what it is, but jews just know man, they just know. there is something different about dating a jew. im pretty freaking happy.


Everyone else uses "nicknames" when witing in blogs...I want to be cool too!...so the members of Chez Hotte are Belle and Cherub. Haha!

i terribly miss my playhouse friends. i never see them anymore. i want them back.

cherub has been going through the first year of playhouse the past few weeks. its been very interesting to listen to her recount her endless days of tortured souls, speech, dicks being slammed in a drawer and all the hook up gossip. i have to say, i do miss it. but its also hard listening to it. i feel as if when she talks about the playhouse, she is actually reciting to me what i did 2 years ago. i feel like ive heard the same stories, like none of its new. so its hard to hear, not that im bored of it...i just...KNOW already.

i repeated with her last night to help her out with school. holy shit it was fun. she's scared. i tried helping her. and i did which was cool...but i too was scared and all i wanted was for her to call me out on it..and she couldnt. ah with time, my friends...with time.

Friday, September 26, 2008

It's been awhile since...everything....

I'm sitting here at my 9 to 5 job, behind a big desk, in an empty, deserted room. I'm staring at the computer screen for my 6th hour straight. It feels like I'm staring into the endless depths of the deepest, darkest circle of hell. And yes, while bringing hell into the picture may sound a big dramatic, I feel that it that description was actually quite spot on...

My entire life I have always promised myself I would never take a desk job, that sitting around an office doing nothing all day is worse then selling my soul. So then please, PLEASE explain to me how I ended up here? Doing just that? At a silly ad agency in SoHo...doing nothing but answering the phone - more transferring a phone call - once an hour? I feel empty, useless...like a sellout.

Now one may wonder, why am I still doing this job then, if It feels so WRONG. Why? Because I need the money. Because I'm sick of waiting on tourists. Because I'm sick of staying out every night til 3-4-5am and sleeping until 2pm the next day. Because I want free nights so I can have a dinner with a friend, go on a date, be a normal adult.

Basically, overall, I'm doing this so it is something steady that will get my lazy ass up in the morning. On Oct. 6th, I tranfer over to the HR dept. at the Marriot Courtyard Hotel by my apartment on 40th and Broadway. It's a 3 month long commitment. At the end of the job, I plan on leaving the country to go travel the world.

I'm very happy I get to stay here for the holidays. So many of my closest friends have birthdays over the next 3 months so it'll be good to be here for that too. Also, I just love Thanksgiving, Rosh Hashana, Chanukah, New Years...just he whole month of December in NYC is so gorgeous. It'll be good to be here for it.

But then, in January...I plan on going off into the world again. I traveled all summer long. I went to Seattle, Alaska, Vancouver and Victoria, then to Israel and then back to the US to go to LAS VEGAS! Quite the adventure filled summer, I must say! I really got addicted to traveling again and realized that right now, my heart lies on the open road.

I've had a plan to write a book, which the details I can not disclose here, (ask me in person and I may tell you) but I still have every intention of trying to either get sponsered to write it and travel the world, or just to travel the world on my own time and write it during. I'm figuring I won't get sponsered, hence me working now to save up money to get a plane ticket.

I plan on maybe flying into Berlin. Stay there for a bit, get a job (I think I have a good connection.) Then travel Europe a bit. Greece. Turkey. Austria. I want to go to India. I also HAVE to hit Israel and Egypt. Honestly? Who knows. I have no idea how I'm going to do this. But thats what I love about it all.

It's what I did last year. Left my life and went out into the world. It's been almost a year since I went on my Big Grand European Adventure...a YEAR. WHAT THE HELL. Time has just flown by. Now that that crazy chapter in my life is over, I am able to look back and reflect on it all. I did not really get to finsih exactly what I had set out to do. Well, let me rephrase that, I did finish what I had to do in that moment...but not overall. I had too much going on here at home that I had to take care of first. But I took care of it all...with flying fucking colors....and I'm ready to get back out there in the world and meet new people, have new adventures...go crazy.

So here I am, once again! Writing in my silly little blog. I'll be using this as my journal about my pre-world traveling adventures. I'll write what I'm doing to get there and whats going on with me thats keeping me still here. i promose to not be so self obsessed this go around. I promise to not talk about all tht stupid bullshit of "omg I'm so much better now" - UCH. I just want to relfect. To put my thoughts down. No more ME ME ME ME. I mean, a bit of it...haha...but not as much.

Ciao for now!!